Some everyday habits can quietly signal you’re stuck in the past—here’s how to spot them and shift gears without losing your sense of self.

We all have quirks that age us a bit, whether it’s our Spotify algorithm still stuck in the 90s or not knowing how to exit a Zoom meeting without waving like we’re on a cruise ship. But there’s a difference between being nostalgic and being completely out of sync with the world around us.

And let’s be honest: sometimes boomers get hit with that “out of touch” label harder than they deserve. But sometimes… it’s also earned.

Here are six behaviors that often trigger that label—and what can be done to shift them without turning into a TikTok-obsessed caricature of “staying current.”

1. Complaining about “kids these days”

You know the tone. It starts with “Back in my day…” and ends with a blanket statement about how younger generations are lazy, entitled, or addicted to screens.

I get it. It’s tempting to compare the past to the present, especially when it feels like the rules have changed. But this kind of talk almost always shuts down real dialogue.

The irony? Younger generations work longer hours, take on more debt, and face far more economic instability than many boomers ever had to. What looks like “entitlement” is often exhaustion.

As noted by workplace researcher Lindsey Pollak, “Every generation is shaped by the world they grow up in—if you don’t understand the context, you’ll miss the real story.”

The fix: Ask more questions. Try saying, “I’m curious—how do you see it?” rather than launching into a lecture. Curiosity opens doors that judgment slams shut.

2. Overusing outdated references

Imagine someone trying to explain a life lesson using only metaphors from rotary phones, fax machines, and MAS*H. It’s endearing for about five seconds—and then everyone’s lost.

I once heard someone say, “It’s like when you tape over your favorite cassette with the wrong song.” The Gen Zers in the room looked like he was speaking Latin.

Pop culture references aren’t just flavor—they’re context. When they’re too old or too niche, they confuse more than they connect.

The fix: Keep a pulse on modern references, even if you don’t fully live them. You don’t have to know every TikTok trend, but understanding what people are watching, listening to, or laughing about can make you more relatable.

Try this: trade one old-school analogy for a newer one in your next story. Instead of “like dial-up,” say “like when your phone’s on 1% and there’s no charger in sight.” The message hits cleaner.

3. Treating technology like the enemy

There’s nothing that screams “I’m out of touch” louder than bragging about not understanding tech—especially when it’s said with pride.

I’ve heard, “Oh, I don’t do apps,” or “I don’t understand how any of that stuff works” more times than I can count.

Now, I’m not saying everyone needs to code Python in their free time. But basic digital fluency is today’s version of knowing how to read a map—it’s just part of life.

As behavioral scientist Katy Milkman noted in her work on change, “Avoidance often stems not from inability but from fear of looking foolish.” That fear? It keeps people stuck.

The fix: Tinker. Ask a grandkid, Google it, or just press some buttons. Let the awkwardness be part of the process. The best way to get comfortable with tech is to stop treating it like it’s radioactive.

And if you’re mentoring someone younger, remember: digital fluency goes both ways. You’ve got life wisdom. They’ve got interface hacks. Trade notes.

4. Assuming “respect” means obedience

One thing I’ve noticed in cross-generational conversations: boomers often define respect as deference—while younger folks define it as mutual understanding.

This disconnect leads to a lot of unnecessary tension. I once watched a manager in his 60s complain that his Gen Z team didn’t respect him because they questioned his decisions. But questioning isn’t always rebellion—it’s engagement.

As noted by leadership expert Adam Grant, “Openness to ideas—not tenure—is the top trait that builds influence in teams.”

The fix: Redefine respect. Instead of seeing questions as defiance, see them as opportunities for deeper thinking. And instead of demanding loyalty, focus on building trust through transparency and accountability.

Today, leadership isn’t about standing above—it’s about standing with.

5. Talking down to people who are younger

I’ve mentioned this before, but the fastest way to lose a room is to act like everyone younger than you needs your approval to exist.

We’ve all heard it: “You’ll understand when you’re older.” Or, “I’ve been doing this longer than you’ve been alive.”

That might be true. But it’s not the flex people think it is. Experience matters—but so does humility.

I once had a 25-year-old freelance designer show me a tool I didn’t know existed, and it ended up saving me three hours a week. I could’ve written him off because of his age. But being open to that exchange made me better.

The fix: Speak to—not down to. Ask for perspectives before giving advice. And when you do offer wisdom, make it optional, not mandatory.

Younger generations aren’t clueless. They’re just climbing a different mountain than you did.

6. Clinging to the “we’ve always done it this way” mindset

This one’s subtle, but powerful.

Whether it’s the way meetings are run, how feedback is given, or even what clothes are considered “professional”—there’s often an unspoken resistance to change.

And let’s be real: sometimes tradition is just peer pressure from dead people.

When boomers double down on the old ways without asking whether they still work, they risk sounding rigid. Or worse—irrelevant.

The fix: Audit your habits. Ask yourself: “Is this way still the best way—or just the familiar one?”

Try running one process differently each month. Maybe it’s holding a meeting via chat instead of in person. Or using a shared doc instead of an email thread.

You don’t have to ditch your principles. Just don’t let nostalgia become a straitjacket.

The bottom line

This isn’t about “acting younger” or pretending to love TikTok and oat milk lattes.

It’s about staying engaged, curious, and open—because that’s what keeps anyone relevant, regardless of age.

Being out of touch isn’t a permanent label. It’s a signal.

And the fix? It usually starts with listening more than talking.

Let the world surprise you. It’s got plenty left to say.