Some habits that once signaled strength or wisdom might now be quietly draining the people around you—without you even realizing it.

Some habits age well. Others? Not so much.

This isn’t about dragging boomers. It’s about recognizing that some behaviors, passed down through generations or picked up from an older workplace culture, don’t translate well anymore.

They’re not evil. They’re just exhausting.

And if you’re not aware of them, you might be pushing people away without realizing it.

Let’s get into it. These are seven behaviors that may have made sense in 1978 but now mostly just drain the room—and the people in it.

1. Needing to be right all the time

You know the person. Conversations with them feel like chess matches. Every opinion you offer gets countered like it’s a debate on national television.

They’re not listening to understand. They’re listening to win.

This behavior might have been modeled after a time when being “correct” equaled credibility. When people respected you more for having the final word than for asking a good question.

But now? It’s exhausting. Especially in relationships, where emotional nuance matters more than logical precision.

As organizational psychologist Adam Grant said: “Argue like you’re right, but listen like you’re wrong.”

Because when you don’t? You create a dynamic where no one wants to open up to you—because it doesn’t feel safe.

You might not even realize you’re doing it. I’ve caught myself more than once preparing my rebuttal while someone else is still speaking. That’s not connection. That’s performance.

Being right won’t save your relationships. But being curious might.

2. Dismissing feelings as weakness

“Don’t be so emotional.”

“Just toughen up.”

“You’ll get over it.”

Sound familiar?

This kind of response was common in boomer households and workplaces—where feelings were seen as obstacles to efficiency.

But the fallout from that stoicism has been pretty clear: generations of emotionally disconnected adults who now have to re-learn how to feel.

Emotions aren’t the problem. Suppression is.

And when you constantly minimize or override someone’s feelings—whether it’s a partner, colleague, or your own kid—you’re teaching them to hide their reality just to make you more comfortable.

As clinical psychologist Dr. Susan David puts it: “Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.”

Emotional avoidance isn’t strength. Strength is learning to sit with discomfort—and allowing others to do the same without trying to fix or downplay it.

3. Over-relying on hierarchy to demand respect

There was a time when being older, more experienced, or having a fancier title automatically meant people listened to you.

But that era is over. Especially in diverse, creative, and collaborative environments.

I once worked with a guy who led every conversation with a résumé rundown. “I’ve been doing this for 30 years,” he’d say. Which was true—but none of us ever asked for that information. And after a while, people just started avoiding him.

Because what’s impressive on paper doesn’t always feel respectful in practice.

Respect now is about how you make people feel in your presence—not how many years you’ve logged.

As leadership thinker Simon Sinek put it: “Leadership is not about being in charge. It’s about taking care of those in your charge.”

If your default mode is playing the authority card, you may not be leading—you may just be intimidating. And people eventually disengage from that.

4. Treating rest like laziness

If you grew up hearing “hard work pays off” a hundred times more often than “take care of yourself,” this one’s for you.

Boomer culture put hustle on a pedestal. Rest was seen as indulgent at best, irresponsible at worst.

I used to wear my 14-hour workdays like a badge of honor—until I hit a burnout wall so hard I couldn’t get out of bed for two days straight.

That was my wake-up call. Turns out, no one gives you a medal for running yourself into the ground.

And now? We know better.

As Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith explains in her book Sacred Rest, there are seven different types of rest we need—not just physical, but also mental, creative, emotional, and social rest.

Neglecting these isn’t “grit.” It’s slow self-destruction.

If people around you seem constantly on edge or shut down after being with you—it might be because you’re modeling a pace they can’t keep up with (and probably shouldn’t).

5. Turning every conversation into a life lesson

Ever share something personal—only to have someone immediately respond with “Well, when I was your age…” or “Back in my day…”?

Boomer behavior often treats conversation like a classroom. But here’s the thing: most of us aren’t looking to be taught. We’re looking to connect.

Of course, storytelling can be beautiful. I love learning from people’s life experiences. But when every moment becomes a springboard for someone else’s monologue, the emotional labor shifts—and the listener becomes invisible.

This dynamic shows up a lot in cross-generational relationships.

You talk about your burnout—they talk about how they worked three jobs and never complained. You talk about your breakup—they say you’re being too sensitive and “love takes work.”

See the problem?

Advice, when not asked for, often lands as condescension.

If you’re not sure whether to chime in—ask. “Do you want advice, or do you just want to vent?” goes a long way.

6. Assuming tech is optional

I’ve traveled a lot. And one thing I’ve noticed globally is how quickly communities—across age groups—are adopting technology to stay connected and relevant.

Except in certain circles, where tech avoidance is still treated like a personality trait.

“I don’t do smartphones.”

“I don’t trust those apps.”

“I let the kids handle the internet stuff.”

It might sound charming in theory. But in practice, it can make collaboration exhausting.

Here’s why: If you refuse to learn even the basics, you shift the burden onto everyone else.

They have to email for you. Print for you. Explain Zoom for the fifteenth time. That adds friction.

Being tech-savvy doesn’t mean being glued to your phone. It means having the curiosity and humility to adapt.

As futurist Amy Webb notes: “The future isn’t something that just happens to us. It’s something we create.”

And if you want a say in the world we’re creating, you have to engage with its tools.

7. Equating vulnerability with oversharing

This one’s sneaky.

Because for many boomers, vulnerability wasn’t even on the table. So when they finally do open up, it often comes out like a dam bursting—no boundaries, no filters.

Suddenly, you’re stuck listening to a 45-minute story about their estranged sibling, three marriages, and the foot surgery they had in 2002.

We’ve all been there.

Vulnerability is powerful. But oversharing—especially with people who haven’t earned that level of trust—can feel overwhelming and invasive.

There’s a difference between being open and being leaky.

Brené Brown says it best: “Vulnerability minus boundaries is not vulnerability. It’s confession.”

If you’re unloading just to release your own emotional pressure, that’s not connection. That’s outsourcing your processing to other people.

And yes, this applies even in close relationships.

Ask:

Is this person emotionally available for this?

Is this the right moment?

Am I offering this to bond—or to dump?

That awareness can save your conversations—and your connections.

The bottom line

None of this is about shame. It’s about awareness.

Boomer behaviors didn’t come out of nowhere. They were survival strategies, cultural norms, and deeply ingrained habits passed down through systems that rewarded compliance over curiosity.

But times have changed. And what once helped people get ahead may now be pushing others away.

If any of this felt uncomfortably familiar, you’re not alone. I’ve carried some of these patterns too—and unlearning them hasn’t been instant. But it’s been worth it.

Because here’s the truth: the most exhausting people aren’t “bad.”

They’re just unaware of the energy they take up.

The flip side? Self-aware people are magnetic. They adjust. They grow. They make space.

And that’s the kind of person people want to be around.