Still saying “kids these days”? You might be the reason they stopped texting back.

Some things get better with age—wine, leather jackets, emotional regulation.

But language? Not always.

I’ve noticed that one of the fastest ways to create distance between generations is to keep clinging to phrases that feel like they came out of a dusty Rolodex rather than a real conversation.

It’s not about being “woke” or changing your whole identity. It’s about staying in tune with how people actually communicate today—especially if you care about keeping that connection with your kids, younger coworkers, or even the cashier at your local market who side-eyes you every time you say “back in my day.”

Let’s break down the kind of language that subtly (or not-so-subtly) turns conversations into cringe-fests.

Here are seven phrases boomers might want to retire—and why it matters.

1. “Kids these days…”

This one feels like a brick wall.

Whenever I hear someone start a sentence with this phrase, I brace myself for a lecture.

It rarely ends in anything constructive—it’s usually a passive-aggressive takedown of how things used to be “better” or “simpler.”

But younger people today are navigating a wildly different world—student debt, climate anxiety, AI anxiety, the pressure to always be “on” socially and professionally.

Saying “kids these days” frames younger generations as a problem to be solved, rather than people to be understood.

If the goal is connection, not condescension, this one needs to go.

Want to go deeper? Ask questions. Invite conversation. Say, “What’s it like dealing with all this new tech in the workplace?” instead of writing them off like they’re alien life forms.

2. “Why don’t you just pick up the phone?”

I get the frustration behind this—some things really are easier to sort out in a five-minute call than 27 text messages.

But for millennials and Gen Z, texting isn’t just a preference. It’s a boundary.

They grew up in a time when their devices buzzed with group chats, news, spam, calendar reminders, and Slack messages all at once. Phone calls often feel invasive, like someone barging into your living room unannounced.

There’s also a ton of social anxiety that’s tied to calls for younger generations. One study by BankMyCell found that 81% of millennials get anxious before making a call.

It’s not that they’re avoiding connection—they’re just doing it differently.

If you truly want to have a conversation, it might help to text first: “Hey, you free to talk later?” That small gesture can go a long way in showing you respect their space.

3. “You need to pay your dues”

This one stings.

Because when it’s used, it’s usually less about professional wisdom and more about gatekeeping.

Yes, experience matters. And yes, we all start somewhere.

But younger generations aren’t trying to skip hard work. They’re just trying to avoid toxic work cultures that glorify burnout, ignore boundaries, and reward silence over innovation.

I’ve mentioned this before, but the workplace is shifting. People are realizing that productivity doesn’t always come from clocking long hours—it comes from clarity, autonomy, and feeling safe to speak up.

As Simon Sinek once said, “Working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress. Working hard for something we love is called passion.”

The new generations aren’t lazy—they just value passion over punishment.

Instead of demanding they “pay their dues,” maybe we should be asking: “What do you need to thrive?”

4. “That’s not how we did it in my day”

No offense, but… that’s the point.

We’re not in your day anymore.

And honestly, that phrase doesn’t spark curiosity—it shuts it down.

It tells the other person that the past is the gold standard and anything different is inferior.

But younger generations are innovating fast. They’re solving problems using tools that didn’t exist 15 years ago. They’re rethinking what leadership, success, and communication should look like.

Instead of clinging to what worked back then, it might be more meaningful to ask, “What’s working now?”

Better yet: “What can I learn from the way you’re approaching this?”

True connection happens when both sides bring something to the table. It doesn’t mean abandoning your experiences—it just means making space for theirs too.

5. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”

Here’s the problem: sometimes it is broken—you just can’t see the cracks because you’re not the one affected by them.

This phrase often gets used to shut down changes to systems that don’t feel broken from a privileged perspective.

Think about it.

Old school office policies, outdated education models, or rigid gender norms might have “worked” for one generation, but they’ve also excluded or harmed others in the process.

As noted by organizational psychologist Adam Grant, “The status quo is not neutral. It’s a set of choices that benefit some and burden others.”

Younger people tend to challenge the default—not because they’re trying to be difficult, but because they’ve seen the cost of not doing so.

A willingness to evolve doesn’t mean the past was meaningless. It means we’re building something better from it.

6. “You’re too sensitive”

This one is especially damaging.

It undermines emotional awareness and punishes vulnerability—two things younger generations are finally starting to value more openly.

Instead of bottling up pain, they’re talking about therapy. Instead of brushing off microaggressions, they’re calling them out. Instead of “toughing it out,” they’re advocating for rest and recovery.

Saying “you’re too sensitive” turns empathy into a flaw. It tells the listener to shrink their reaction to fit your comfort zone.

And in doing so, it creates emotional distance.

Psychologist Brené Brown once said, “Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of ‘You’re not alone.’”

If connection is the goal, that’s the direction to lean in.

Sensitivity isn’t weakness—it’s awareness. And it’s about time we treated it like a strength.

7. “Respect your elders”

Now hear me out—respect does matter.

But the idea that age automatically earns you respect? That’s a relic of a more hierarchical world.

Today’s younger generations tend to value mutual respect. It’s less about age, more about consistency, authenticity, and shared values.

The phrase “respect your elders” can come across as a demand rather than a dialogue. It suggests that older people deserve reverence without having to earn or maintain it.

But respect, like trust, is built through behavior—listening, learning, admitting when you’re wrong.

Here’s the thing: younger generations do want to learn from older ones. But they want that exchange to be mutual, not top-down.

The best mentors I’ve had were curious about my world too. They didn’t lecture—they collaborated.

If the goal is intergenerational harmony, respect has to flow both ways.

The takeaway

Language evolves. So should we.

This isn’t about walking on eggshells or pretending to be someone you’re not.

It’s about curiosity. Openness. Willingness to shift a little in order to stay connected to the people you care about.

Because at the end of the day, most of us just want to feel seen and heard—not dismissed by a phrase that belongs in a sitcom from 1984.

So maybe next time you’re tempted to say, “Kids these days…”—pause, and try asking a question instead.

You might be surprised at what you learn.