Born in Belfast, Ciarán Hinds, 72, studied at Rada. In 1987, he joined Peter Brook’s cast of The Mahabharata – an epic play that toured the world; he went on to perform for the RSC and the National Theatre. His films include The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and Her Lover, Belfast and Frozen. On television, he has appeared in Game of Thrones and The Terror, and will star in the new BBC adaptation of The Narrow Road to the Deep North. He is married to actor Hélène Patarot with whom he has a daughter, and lives in London and Paris.

What is your greatest fear?

I’m not fond of snakes.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

Vagueness.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Pomposity.

What was your most embarrassing moment?

Falling off the stage and on to the pianist during the opening number in the Mother Goose pantomime at the Citizens theatre in Glasgow.

Describe yourself in three words

Hopeful, egalitarian, overweight.

What makes you unhappy?

The slaughter of innocents.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?

My gut.

What is your most unappealing habit?

Where to begin?

If you could edit your past, what would you change?

My penchant for having just one too many.

What scares you about getting older?

Not being able to fend for myself and being a burden to others.

Who is your celebrity crush?

Penélope Cruz and Javier Bardem.

Which book are you ashamed not to have read?

Ulysses by James Joyce, but I might make a start next week – or the week after that …

What is the worst thing anyone’s said to you?

As a young actor, again at the Citizens theatre, I was making an exit and a theatregoer leaned over the balcony and said, “You’re terrible!”

What is your guiltiest pleasure?

A perfect pint of Guinness.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

My wife and daughter – in no particular order.

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What does love feel like?

Overwhelming, discombobulating, irrational and unreasonable.

Have you ever said ‘I love you’ and not meant it?

Oh yes, many times – and then had to do another take because it didn’t look like I meant it.

What has been your closest brush with the law?

I was once approached by a New York cop who said he was sorry but he was going to have to book me for impersonating a Roman emperor.

What keeps you awake at night?

An inability to get myself to bed at a reasonable hour.

Would you rather have more sex, money or fame?

Oh, all right then, sex.

How would you like to be remembered?

As not being a total bollix.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you?

We’re not here for long so don’t be wreaking havoc along the way.

Tell us a joke

Two cows in a field. One of them says, “I hear there’s another outbreak of mad cow disease.” The other one says, “Yep, thank God I’m a penguin.”