What if the things you’re stressing about now are the very ones future-you will wish you’d let go of entirely?

We live in an age of “optimize everything”—career, sleep cycles, macros, mindfulness routines.

But here’s the kicker: the people who’ve already lived full, complicated lives often look back and shake their heads at what they once obsessed over.

So, I asked around, dug into some interviews, and gathered real reflections from people over 70. Here are the nine things they say they wish they’d stressed about less in their 30s. Spoiler: a lot of it comes down to letting go of pressure that wasn’t even real.

Let’s get into it.

1. Climbing the “right” career ladder

It’s wild how much pressure we put on ourselves to “get ahead” in our 30s.

The right title. The right industry. The “I should be a manager by now” voice that lives rent-free in so many minds.

But as one 74-year-old former marketing executive told me over coffee in Silverlake, “I changed careers three times. Each one felt like the last chance. Turns out, none of them were.”

Career ladders are often more like climbing walls—sideways moves count. And sometimes, the ladder’s leaning on the wrong building entirely.

What you do next matters more than what you did before.

2. Whether people liked them

This one came up a lot.

In your 30s, you’re often hyper-aware of how people perceive you—at work, in friendships, even at family gatherings.

But according to a retired schoolteacher I spoke with who just turned 80, “You get to my age, and you realize most of those people weren’t thinking about you half as much as you thought they were.”

That hit hard.

Trying to win over everyone? That’s a race with no finish line. Better to be liked by a few real ones than exhausted by everyone else’s expectations.

3. Their body not looking “perfect”

I’ll be honest—I’ve been guilty of this one.

Even when I was doing everything “right”—plant-based eating, strength training, all that—I’d still find things to critique. Abs not sharp enough. Skin not clear enough. Insert whatever nonsense standard we’re bombarded with.

But a 72-year-old I met while traveling in Portugal said something that stuck with me: “I spent years worrying about how I looked in a swimsuit. Now I wish I’d just gone swimming.”

Damn.

Your body is the vehicle that gets you through life. Not an Instagram post.

4. Not owning a home by a certain age

This one is loaded—culturally, emotionally, financially.

There’s this idea that you haven’t “made it” if you’re not a homeowner by your 30s. But plenty of people over 70 say they wish they’d worried less about hitting that milestone on schedule.

As noted by financial psychologist Dr. Brad Klontz, “Chasing status-based milestones like homeownership can sometimes lead people into choices that aren’t aligned with their actual goals or lifestyle.”

Renting longer, buying later, or even not buying at all doesn’t mean you failed—it might mean you were just prioritizing flexibility, or weren’t ready yet. And that’s okay.

5. Being behind

“Behind what exactly?” That’s what one 78-year-old artist asked me when I brought up the pressure people feel to “catch up.”

It’s such a common anxiety—like life is a group race and you’re watching everyone else zoom ahead while you’re tying your shoes.

But that whole idea? Made up.

No one over 70 I spoke with remembered who got married first, or who had the “best job” in their 30s. They remembered who was kind. Who stayed curious. Who stayed true to themselves, even when it wasn’t trendy.

Older adults tend to remember character over chronology. People in their 70s rarely recall who got married first or who had the flashiest career in their 30s—but they vividly remember the kind ones, the curious ones, the ones who stayed true even when it wasn’t trendy.

This aligns with research on socioemotional selectivity theory, which finds that as we age, we prioritize emotionally meaningful goals and memories. We naturally focus on depth—kindness, authenticity, connection—not speed or status

6. Making everyone else comfortable

This one’s tricky—especially if you were raised to be accommodating or avoid “rocking the boat.”

But the older folks I spoke with wished they’d been bolder about drawing boundaries, saying no, or just being honest—even if it made someone uncomfortable.

One woman, 75, put it bluntly: “So many of us, especially women, were taught to make sure everyone else felt okay. But no one gave us a prize for being uncomfortable for decades.”

Sometimes discomfort is a sign you’re finally being honest.

7. Not having everything figured out

We treat our 30s like the final act of some setup phase. Like if you don’t have a life plan locked in by then, you’re doomed.

Truth is, most of the people I talked to didn’t really figure out what made them happy until their 40s, 50s… sometimes even 60s.

This is backed by experts like Stanford psychologist Laura Carstensen, who has said: “Positive emotions increase with age. People get better at letting go of regrets and become more focused on meaning.”

Translation? Life doesn’t decline after 30. It opens up—if you’re paying attention.

8. Comparing themselves to everyone else

This one might be the hardest to shake in the age of social media.

But comparison has always been around. One retired musician I met said, “Even in the ’70s, we were comparing record deals, tour sizes, who was on TV. Same stuff, different platforms.”

The lesson? Everyone’s highlight reel is misleading—no matter the decade. And every minute you spend comparing is a minute you’re not living your own life.

Research on social comparison shows that repeatedly comparing yourself—especially through upward comparisons—can lead to decreased motivation, stress, and lower well-being.

When you compare upwards and the gap feels too wide, motivation drops and disengagement increases

Comparison doesn’t motivate. It distracts.

9. Thinking mistakes were the end of the world

I’ll wrap with the one I heard the most.

Mistakes feel so final in your 30s. Like they define you. Ruin your chances. Prove you’re not cut out for whatever it is you’re trying to do.

But older folks look back and see those moments differently. One 82-year-old man said, “The worst mistake of my career led me to start my own company. At the time, I thought my life was over.”

Perspective is funny like that.

As noted by author Daniel Pink in The Power of Regret, “Regret is not dangerous or abnormal; it’s healthy and universal. It clarifies. It instructs. Done right, it needn’t drag us down; it can lift us up.”

Mistakes don’t mean it’s over. They often mean you’re just getting started.

The bottom line

If you’re in your 30s, there’s a good chance you’re feeling the squeeze—from society, social media, your own high standards.

But take it from the folks who’ve already ridden a few of life’s rollercoasters: most of what you’re stressing about won’t matter in the way you think it will.

Focus on what brings meaning. Tune out the noise. Let yourself evolve.

You’ve got time.