The statistics from a study published on Office for National Statistics titled Childbearing for women born in different years, England and Wales: 2020 hint towards later motherhood increasingly becoming a norm as more women enter their 30s without a child, a first in history.

The study shows changes in the age women are entering motherhood, stating that 50 per cent of today’s 30-year-old women, born in 1990, chose to remain childless, a first since 1920. The average age for bearing children for those born in 1949 was 22 years old while for those born in 1975 (now aged 45 years) was 31 years old.

When it comes to the number of children women are choosing to have, the study says, “Two child families remain the most common family size (37 per cent), however this is a decrease in the proportion of those having two children compared with their mothers’ generation born in 1949 (44 per cent).”

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It also made stark observations of changes in fertility over the years, noting: “Levels of childlessness by age 30 have been steadily rising since a low of 18 per cent for women born in 1941. Lower levels of fertility in those currently in their 20s indicate that this trend is likely to continue.”

Dr Mayurr Dass, senior consultant obstetrics and gynecology at Cloudnine Group of hospitals, Patparganj, New Delhi, shares that her observations as well as studies conducted in India point towards similar findings. “More and more women are starting to plan children post their 30s. Balancing family with job, increased standard of living, and the financial responsibility of raising children have also changed the trend.” She further notes that couples want one or two children, at the most.

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Dr Dass also thinks that fertility rates are “constantly decreasing”. “The trend has been noted in surveys like National Family Health Survey 2019 – 2021 wherein the total fertility rate dropped from 2.2 in 2015-16 to 2. It was 1.6 in urban population and 2.1 in rural population.” She states that diseases like Polycystic Ovaries syndrome (PCOS), obesity along with sedentary lifestyles, increased and increasing stress level have contributed in lower chances of natural conception.

The pandemic has, surprisingly, also contributed to lower percentage of women choosing motherhood, observes Dr Dass. “The pandemic has shown inverse impact on childbirth and couples’ plan to have children. There was great fear, anxiety, depression, lack of information, and loss of jobs for many, leading to them choosing to delay their pregnancies.”

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When Harleen Vij, 35, first began dating her partner, the idea of becoming DINKs — a couple with dual income and no kids — was made quite clear right from the start.

“We both connected on Instagram on a post I had shared on my story about why a woman’s worth shouldn’t be attached to motherhood,” Vij, a Nagpur-based social media professional, said. “Sharing similar thoughts about being a parent, we had already decided as individuals to not have a kid, and it was our good luck that our paths crossed.”

Vij and her partner represent a rising trend among couples who are consciously opting for a child-free lifestyle. This choice allows them to enjoy the advantages of a double-income household while avoiding the expenses associated with raising kids.

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The population of DINKs in India has been growing at 30 per cent per annum, according to Gitnux Market Data Report 2024. In fact, the last census taken in 2011 shows that the DINK lifestyle is prevalent in nearly 42 per cent of two-member rural families compared to 22 per cent of similar urban families.

The main factor behind Vij and her partner’s decision to become DINKs was the “mental and physical labour that will be required to raise a kid.” “Although I adore kids, I don’t see myself being fully responsible for another human. Not to mention the excruciating financial cost needed to maintain a good and comfortable life for the kid,” Vij said.

Between a pandemic, lack of jobs, and the burden of debt and inflation, not having kids seems to be the prudent choice, as per Vij. According to a 2021 report by the Pew Research Center, 61 per cent of millennials said they are not having kids because they simply cannot afford to.

As for Debiparna Chakraborty, 33-year-old living in Kolkata, the decision stems from a need for freedom. “This freedom means being able to enjoy our vacations and free time doing whatever we want. Our schedule is our own. If we want to go on a trip or an event, we don’t have to consider our child’s schedule or worry about childcare,” the film critic said.

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The population of DINKs in India has been growing at 30 per cent per annum, according to Gitnux Market Data Report 2024. (Source: Freepik) The population of DINKs in India has been growing at 30 per cent per annum, according to Gitnux Market Data Report 2024. (Source: Freepik)

A growing sub-group among DINKs is DINKWAD (double income, no kids, with a dog). Among these is Rakhi Tushir, 25, a PR account manager based in Bangalore, who feels being a DINKWAD has been “the best decision so far with zero regrets.” “So far, I have never felt incomplete, as the society preaches. Having kids is no longer the sole aim and duty of a woman, or the only way to feel complete as a family,” she said.

Before their relationship began, Tushir and her partner had a pet dog each. Now they have four together. On being asked whether she has plans to have kids in the future, Tushir remarked that the real plan is to foster and adopt more animals in need. “It’s a lot of love and licks, no fear of missing out,” she said.

On the other hand, Anurag Kumar Sankrityayan, 34, a senior consultant in Bangalore, likes to call himself a ‘GINK’ (green inclination, no kids). “I strongly believe in the idea of sustainability. Looking at the current order of our world, I doubt that our planet has enough resources to fulfil the needs of the current population. It’s getting more and more challenging to ensure our survival with each passing year due to climate change. When all of this hovers over my mind, I can’t imagine having kids of my own who might have to suffer because of the adverse climate and scarce resources,” he said.

Being a couple with disabilities, Sankrityayan shares that he and his partner are committed to improving the quality of life of other marginalised people. “I sustained a gunshot injury 10 years back, which left my body paralysed below the chest. While there are many people with similar disabilities having kids, we feel our double income allows us to support some people with spinal cord injuries who do not have the money necessary for treatment.”

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Choosing the DINK life

While the term has been around since the late 1980s, the heyday of the yuppie culture – which refers to the lives led by young urban professionals – it has recently gained traction on social media, particularly TikTok and Instagram. Many couples are sharing snippets that showcase their child-free lives, highlighting the benefits through the travel, free time and luxuries they can afford.

Gautami Devi Chetri, clinical psychologist at Lissun, attributes this trend to a societal shift in attitudes towards family dynamics. “Over time, cultural perceptions have evolved, and the choice to remain child-free is now more widely accepted, reflecting changing notions of personal fulfilment.”

The main sociological reason that has contributed to the DINK lifestyle, explained Dr Gitanjali Natarajan, chief clinical psychology advisor, Niyama Digital Health Care, is the change from a collectivistic, interdependent society to a more individualistic society. “Individuals strive to exercise personal freedom in important areas of life such as career, place of stay and marriage, including childbearing. They no longer follow social rules and norms, which older generations used to do without questioning its reason and relevance.”

Additionally, in our modern lives, professional growth and careers take precedence for many individuals. “DINK couples have more time and energy to devote to their work and career progress when they are not burdened with childcare duties. They may also have a greater opportunity for personal development, self-discovery, and following their passions that might not be practised if they were burdened with other responsibilities,” said Sidhharrth S Kumaar, relationship coach, NumroVani.

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Contrary to popular perception, DINK couples have the free will and agency to choose to not have kids, and are not to be confused with childless couples. “DINK couples are not simply this uber-detached and ambitious couple who have no emotions or love as many stereotypes would like us to believe,” said Parul Bhandari, a sociologist at the University of Cambridge. “Rather, it is possible that their spiritual or humanitarian outlooks might have made them take this decision,” she added.

Bhandari, the author of many academic books, said that while our society is witnessing a rise in consumerism and a sense of heightened individuality, there is also a concomitant rise of interest in the spiritual and communitarian. “Many couples may choose a DINK life to devote more time to a spiritual or humanitarian cause. There are also those who do not want to bring another life into this already competitive and difficult world.”

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The downsides

Among the top criticisms that DINK couples tend to invite is that of self-interest or selfishness. “This stigma can be especially challenging for women, who may feel the pressure to have children and prioritise family over their career or personal goals,” said Chetri. “The constant scrutiny or questioning from others about their decision can lead to feelings of judgment, self-doubt, or isolation that can act as a stressor — potentially contributing to anxiety or feelings of being inadequate.”

Another concern is around old age: Who will take care of you when you grow old? “Without children to rely on for care and support in old age, DINK couples may need to invest in pricey long-term care services or rely on paid caregivers. Their financial security and retirement funds may be impacted by this,” said Kumaar.

And then there’s loneliness. “It may seem rewarding for young couples, but they could develop a feeling of disconnect and meaninglessness later on. DINK couples may experience feelings of alienation from their social circles when friends and classmates begin families. This may contribute to solitude and emptiness,” said Aashmeen Munjaal, mental health and relationship expert.

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Before deciding to adopt a DINK lifestyle, Chetri advises reviewing these important pointers:

By Reya Mehrotra

It has been 18 years since Bengaluru-based psychiatrist Shamala (who goes by one name only) decided to move in with her partner Mohan Rao, an engineer. They both had two things in common: spirituality and the desire to be childfree. Eighteen years later, they are proud of their decision. “I had attended an Osho meditation camp in 2002 and felt that I should not get married. Within a year, I found someone who was also spiritually oriented. We both started questioning if we were mature enough to have a child. There is so much suffering in the world… it was not worth giving birth,” says Shamala, who is in her 40s.

Before 2002, however, she did want to have a family of her own. “I really wanted to get married and have a child, but the discourse changed my life. Osho, in his recorded video, said that those who choose to give birth put their burden and expectations on their children and expect their unfulfilled desires and dreams to get fulfilled through them. It is a way of satisfying one’s ego. Why bring children into this world and make them suffer?” says Shamala, adding that she never worried about any social stigma. “Our families were okay with the decision. My mother knew that we were happier than my married relatives… we are happy and proud to say that we are in a live-in relationship and are childfree by choice,” she says.

Shamala and Rao are one among many couples in the 21st century who have decided to not go down the marriage and parenthood roads. Marriage, they believe, is a bondage, where you are often forced to live together for the sake of families, children and society. This band of new thinkers is now actively shunning marriage and instead seeking partners who, like them, would rather be childfree. Kolkata-based Ayushi (name changed on request), for one, neither wants to get married nor have a child. “My mother and I have suffered a lot because my father was abusive. In my family, men have the power and women are voiceless and scrutinised. This bitter experience made me realise that I do not want this for myself. I have been through depression and anxiety, and also have endometriosis. I do not want to transfer my pain to my child,” says the 28-year-old, who decided to go childfree when, during her college research, she learnt that motherhood does not define a woman. Going ahead, Ayushi says that she knows it’s going to be an uphill ride, but is sure that she doesn’t want marriage for herself.

Not just singles, there are many married couples as well who are choosing to not embrace parenthood. Take, for instance, Panchkula-based Deepak Negi, a mechanical engineer by profession, and his wife Anita Rawat. Negi says finding a partner willing to go childfree was a big challenge. “During my search, I spoke to many prospective partners over the phone. Finally, after five months of extensive search, I found Anita. Our thoughts matched and we got married in early 2016. We are happy about our decision to remain childfree,” says the 34-year-old.

Thankfully, people looking for childfree marriages have help now, as there are platforms like Childfree India that not only function as support groups, but also act as unofficial matchmaking platforms for single people. “I have been talking to some men in the group,” reveals Ayushi.

There are multiple reasons why couples are opting to be childless, says Delhi-based marriage and family counsellor Nisha Khanna. “Some might not have had a very healthy childhood. Secondly, today’s generation lives a fast life in metro cities. They have too many responsibilities on their shoulders and feel that a child would be a bigger responsibility. For the first few years, it is important to be with a child physically and mentally. But with today’s lifestyle, one hardly has that much time to devote to a child… People are also marrying late these days and then having a child might not seem a very good option, as they think they would be too old when the child grows up. Then there are financial issues, environmental issues like increasing pollution, etc, today,” explains Khanna.

Birth of a movement

There are anti-natalists all over the world and social media is full of such groups. But it was Belgian writer Theophile de Giraud who played a huge role in popularising the idea through his 2000 book The Impertinence of Procreation, a plea against human reproduction. Some also link the movement to ancient Greece.

As far as Indian history goes, marriages have always been an integral part of any Indian family. But change was long in the offing. As the anti-natalism movement began to take shape across the world, many Indians like Ayushi and Shamala, too, felt encouraged to break the shackles, deciding to stay away from marriage and children, and live life on their own terms.

Procreation is unethical, feel the co-founders of Childfree India. The support group was launched in February 2019 by Bengaluru-based anti-natalists Anugraha Kumar Sharma (an independent branding consultant), AS Prashanth (who runs a small business) and Pratima Naik (a social activist). After initial trolling for their ideology, the group soon went viral, says Sharma. Today, the movement is spread across the country with 2,000 members. “We got covered by international media and then many people joined us through social media,” says the 45-year-old.

Sharma, separated from his wife since many years, says that initially his wife too was an anti-natalist, though, they didn’t know the term then. But when she got pregnant, she considered it ‘God’s will’ and later even wanted another child to give company to the first one. “But I refused. A mistake should be committed only once. My wife was epileptic too and I did not want to burden her,” says Sharma, whose 18-year-old daughter is an anti-natalist too and has decided to not get married.

The movement is attracting like-minded people, including efilists (efilism is ‘life’ spelt backwards, an ideology that suggests humans can eradicate themselves by stopping to have children). “Some of our followers are asking us to plan for a commune where the childfree can live together as an extended family. A few others are asking us to pursue the Right to Die (voluntary euthanasia) movement. We are yet to decide whether we should invest our energies to build a commune or fight for the Right to Die Act,” Sharma says.

Consent matters

How do you ask an unborn child if he/she wants to see the light of the world? You can’t. So you do not bring him/her into the world. After all, it is all about consent. This was the logic Mumbai-based Raphael Samuel gave to his parents (who are lawyers) last year before disclosing that he was planning to sue them. His parents were prepared to fight him in court and challenged him to find a lawyer, all the while agreeing with him. Samuel said he wanted to set an example and, therefore, would sue them for not more than a rupee.

Alok Kumar Pathak, a teacher based in Sitapur, Uttar Pradesh, who has married a physically challenged girl and has decided to go childfree, explains the logic of consent. “For me, the primary reason is that we can’t take the consent of an unborn baby whether he/she wants to come in this world. So whether the world needs this movement or not is secondary for me. The primary is the unborn child… No one really knows the answer to why people choose to give birth. They are just following others. Suffering is an inevitable part of life and forcing a child into this world without their consent is wrong,” says Pathak, who goes by the name Alok ‘Mystic’.

For Delhi-based Parul Gupta, a PhD scholar at IIT-Delhi and a teacher, it was her aunt’s pregnancy in 2008 and her condition post it that strengthened her resolve to go childfree. The 32-year-old is not actively looking for a partner, but says that the ones she has met have not really been accepting of her decision to go childfree even though her parents have no issues with her decision. “Factors like environmental/societal concerns have also strengthened my resolve. Children are a drain on financial, physical, emotional, environmental and societal resources. Moreover, conflicting advice makes parenting full of confusion, guilt, self-doubt and stress. I strongly believe that to bring a child into the world is a disservice to both the child and earth,” says Gupta.

Retirement plan

A common notion is that one should procreate to have financial and emotional support in old age, a sort of a retirement plan. Anti-natalists, however, believe this is a selfish reason. “I am a teacher and researcher of economics, and we talk about the ‘demographic dividend’ all the time. Yes, the dependency ratio will increase if more people go childfree. However, people without kids are more likely to have greater savings, better health and overall a higher quality of life. I feel productivity will improve without the stress of parenting responsibilities. The consumerist culture could also see a reversal and pressures on the environment may also ease. I view all of these as signs of development and improvement, not slower progress,” says Gupta. “Developing countries should especially encourage and support childfree lifestyles since societal resources in these countries are already stretched to the maximum. Countries could extend tax breaks and other concessions to childfree individuals/couples,” she adds.

Shamala says having like-minded people as friends helps when one is old. “People initially feel we are living an abnormal life, but when they know us closely, they like us. I advice my patients, too, who are struggling to have a child that going childfree is a wiser choice,” she says.

Finding freedom

Many anti-natalists believe that the freedom that comes with breaking these societal constructs is priceless. One can invest in hobbies and indulge in interests as one remains free from the responsibilities of children. Negi says he values the freedom he and his wife have. “Freedom comes from money and raising child in India costs a fortune. We as a couple travel a lot, go backpacking and on motorcycle trips every quarter. A child will put a break on our free lives. Sometimes, I feel people see us as selfish and prefer to chill with couples with kids. However, it doesn’t bother me,” he says. Like many childfree couples, Negi and his wife have instead chosen to become pet parents to three-year-old Bruno.

Bengaluru-based Swagata Paul, who works in an automobile firm, and canine nutritionist Sundeep Dhar, in fact, took their role as pet parents so seriously that they started their own dog food company, Canine Cravings, in 2018. “We always wanted to go childfree and so adopted two special needs dogs, Cassius and Bailey. We love our boys. In fact my husband quit his job to focus on our canine food company. It’s not like pets need lesser attention. A child might grow up, but pets are always dependent on you and need care. My parents are not happy about us dedicating our lives to dogs, but now they don’t have much of a choice,” she laughs. “We have seen half the world and led a very hectic work life and so never wanted a child,” says the 35-year-old. Apart from their pets, Paul and Dhar are also the caretakers of about 40-50 street dogs in their community.

The trend of adopting pets as ‘kids’ has seen a rise in the last decade globally. In 2013, research by the US Bureau of Labor Statistics stated that expenditure on pets remained 1% of the total household expenditure between 2007 and 2011 despite the recession.

Not just animals, a number of couples have even adopted houseplants as ‘kids’, choosing to become plant parents, easier than becoming a pet parent. The reason? Plants are cheaper and easy to take care of, needing care only once or twice a week. The National Gardening Association stated that between 2016 to 2019, houseplant sales in the US increased by 50% to reach $1.7 billion, thanks to millenials adopting plant babies.

Pitfalls & challenges

The idea may seem liberating, but has a flipside to it. If a majority of millenials decide to go childless, the global population could dwindle and the world economy will collapse. As per a July report by the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation (IHME, a research institute working in the area of global health statistics and impact evaluation at the University of Washington in Seattle, fertility rates in 183 of 195 countries will not be high enough by the year 2100 to maintain current populations without liberal immigration policies. It also predicts that world population will be at its peak by 2064 with around 9.7 billion people and fall to 8.8 billion by the century’s end with 23 countries seeing the population shrink by more than 50%, including Japan, Thailand, Italy and Spain. It further goes on to state that dramatic declines in working age populations in countries like India and China will hamper economic growth and lead to shifts in global powers.

Additionally, the 2017 Global Burden of Disease Study predicted that the fastest shrinking populations will be of Asia and central and eastern Europe. Fertility is one major reason behind it. In India, the fertility rate has fallen down from 5.2 to 2.2 children per woman from 1971 to 2017, as per sample registration system data from the Office of the Registrar General.

There are other challenges as well. Societal pressure, for one, is relentless. Take, for instance, Gupta’s case. Even though her parents have been supportive of her decision, her relatives, including those who live abroad, expect her to change her mind. “‘Studying too much has gone to your head’ is what I often hear,” she says.

Pathak, too, says that his family is still not convinced of his decision. “My family asked me to leave the house after I got married. But she understood my decision to go childfree. I will never have a child,” he says, adding that the best way to protect people from suffering is to not bring them on this earth.

Shrinking populations

* Fertility rates in 183 of 195 countries won’t be high enough by year 2100 to maintain current populations without liberal immigration policies, as per Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation (IHME)

* World population will be at its peak by 2064 with around 9.7 billion people and fall to 8.8 billion by the century’s end with 23 countries seeing population shrink by more than 50%, as per IHME

* Dramatic declines in working age populations in countries like India and China will hamper economic growth and lead to shifts in global powers

* In India, fertility rate came down from 5.2 to 2.2 children per woman from 1971 to 2017, as per Office of the Registrar General

* Fastest shrinking populations will be of Asia, central and eastern Europe, as per a 2017 Global Burden of Disease Study

There is a new buzz word in social arena gaining popularity among young married couples around the world, which is a new life style, enjoying “double income no kids”, popularly known as DINK. In the Indian social system, DINK lifestyle has not much relevance. (Shutterstock)

DINK lifestyle is gaining popularity mostly through social media platforms, wherein such life is glorified by uploading videos on TikTok, Facebook and other related social media sites, having millions of views, displaying the lifestyle of kid-free married couples. There are many popular faces of young couples on such platforms, who have gained huge following from posting “DINK vlogs”- videos that show them and their partner’s day-to-day life, showcasing their lavish and burden-free lifestyles. Glorification of such lifestyles, knowingly or unknowingly, inspires and attract the couples towards the ideas of DINK.

At a speed at which DINK lifestyle is gaining popularity around the world including India, it has potential danger of upsetting the social fabric of the societies in the near future.

In India we recognised the importance of closely knitted joint family system since ancient times and adhered to it till the last four/five decades. But this traditional joint family system in India suffered a blow in the last few decades, as most of our educated young couples, moved away from joint family to join nuclear family system in search of new jobs, to earn more incomes and to improve their quality of life and means of livelihood. In the process, not only the nuclear families of these migrant young couples, but the old parents sitting back in their homes also suffered emotional and social setbacks.

At present, this nuclear family system is once again on the verge of further risk of another break. DINK lifestyle is catching on the imagination of the young couples very fast not only in the western countries, but is also gaining popularity in developing economies like India. More and more married young couples are opting to remain childless as they are fascinated by burden-free double income, no kids lifestyle.

There are many arguments put forward by these couples in support of opting for this lifestyle, citing economic as well as social reasons. The economic reason mainly is to pursue their careers to earn double income so that can enjoy life of their choice, devoid of any financial constraints. According to the propagators of the lifestyle, they have much more disposable income than the couples with children and this give extra financial leverage to buy luxury items of their choice and live a lavish lifestyle with freedom.

In the social arena, according to DINK couples, they have no burden of raising and rearing children and therefore, have the freedom to move from one place to another to pursue their jobs, hobbies and travelling interests without having any burden of children care and responsibilities, making them feel free from stress and responsibility of parenthood. Without kids, these couples feel, that they have more time and energy to invest in their own personal relationship.

Such arguments of these couples are of not much relevance to the Indian society or for that matter to any other society. Procreation is law of nature and applicable universally both to human beings as well as to other living beings on the earth. Without procreation, no society can survive in the long run be it human beings or others and are bound to face extinction, now evident in the western societies. Many countries in the western world are facing ever increasing older population and declining young population. This is a cause of major concern for them and they are feeling to address this problem with utmost seriousness but perhaps without much success.

In Indian social system, DINK life style has not much relevance. Children are essential part and parcel of our family system and mere presence of children brings happiness, not only to the parents, but to the grand parents and relatives as well.

Biju Dominic, a behavioural science expert and chief executive officer, FinalMile Consulting, says “People in general don’t have the ability to think too much into the future. But I find children to be the driving force that gets people to think and plan for the future.” There is truth in this statement, as children in the family makes one to look and work hard for future, as in Indian social system, every family has very strong desire for continuation of family tree.

Not denying the fact that we, in India, need to control population growth but it cannot be by way of adopting DINK lifestyle. DINK as a way of living can be pursued by young couples at the initial stages of their married life but they have to set a limit of years for such lifestyles and once settled, must resort to the social responsibility of procreation. Without children Life becomes painful in older age, its not with respect to India only but in any society, leading to mental and physical disorders. Social and economic development will stop in the absence of youthful population.

So let us stop to encourage and spread of DINK ideas among the young married couples. It may be little difficult by the parents of married couples to convince them forcefully to shun the idea of DINK. Responsibility lies more on young married couples to realize themselves the importance of children in the family for their own emotional well- being and satisfaction. Children spread happiness and are stress busters. Well educated and economically well off couples, have more responsibility to raise good human beings. Without children, couples feel lonely and regretful in the later stages of life. DINK lifestyle may be more relevant to the western societies, as their finances and healthcare are well taken care of after the age of 60’s, but in India children contribute towards psychological and physical well-being of the parents and grand-parents by mere their presence around them. Children are Blessing in the family and rearing them is a social responsibility.

The couples, though have the right to choose their own lifestyles, yet they must give a serious re-thinking to the idea of pursuing DINK lifestyle, if the they are attracted by the DINK couple on the TikTok videos on the social media platforms.

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It used to be a criticism. In every previous generation, a family with only one child was met with disapproval: What’s the matter? Can’t have more? Can’t afford more? (Shutterstock)

There was a stereotype for kids without siblings: self-absorbed brats, spoiled from never having to share their toys.

But in a country where lifestyles are being transformed by capitalism and aspiration, change is brewing. A significant sliver of the middle class — urban, well educated, well-paid — is choosing to have just one child, even when that one is a girl (unusual in a country with a strong bias for male children).

A 2011 study conducted by the National Council for Applied Economic Research (NCAER) indicated that close to 10% of Indian households now opt for only one child, and nearly a quarter of college-educated women said they would prefer to have a single child.

In 2018, India’s National Family Health Survey-4 showed that only 24% of married women (between 15 and 49) and 27% of men want a second child.

But you’ve probably noticed it already, if not in your own or extended family, then in your neighbourhood, among your former batchmates and current colleagues. One-child families are more common than ever. And they’re subtly changing India in ways we haven’t yet considered.

ALL IN ONE

Sonalde Desai, sociology professor and director of the NCAER’s National Data Innovation Centre, first noticed the trend a decade ago. “There is interesting work in the US on ways in which women combine career and motherhood by limiting themselves to a single child,” she says. “I was surprised to see the number of people I saw around me with a single child and wondered if the same processes might be operating in India.”

She undertook a study, co-authored with Alaka Basu, visiting professor at Delhi’s Jawaharlal Nehru University, titled Middle-Class Dreams: India’s One-Child Families, in 2011. It showed that Indian families weren’t shrinking for the same reason as families in the developed world were.

“Indian women with a single child are no more likely to engage in paid work than those with more children,” she says. Couples with a single child do not work longer, or have more free time either. Instead, educated couples preferred to make a greater commitment to one child than split the family’s time and resources among two or more siblings. This, they believe, gives that one child a better education, a monopoly on the family’s attention, and eventually a greater advantage in the job market.

At the non-profit, Population Foundation of India (PFI), executive director, Poonam Muttreja, finds strong links between a woman’s education levels and employment status and preferred family size. “Women with less education and less wealth tend to choose to have more than two children. Women with longer years of education and more wealth often want to have fewer than two,” she says.

THE FLIP SIDE

Modern research from the West indicates that growing up without siblings puts a child at no intellectual, social or emotional disadvantage. In China, which enforced a brutal one-child policy from 1979 to 2015, other repercussions are now apparent.

There, household savings rose. But many parents took extreme steps to ensure that their only offspring was male, giving China the world’s most skewed gender ratio: 117 boys born for every 100 girls. Now, the working-age population in China is declining, resulting in fewer tax payers and more elderly dependents. Only-children couples end up caring for their parents on both sides, with no one to share the responsibilities.

“The consequences for India are likely to be twofold,” says Desai. “Sons will definitely have more elder care responsibilities. But what happens to daughters is going to be even more interesting. Historically we have not expected support from daughters. These attitudes may well change when she is the only child.”

Desai agrees. “We are placing a huge psychological burden on the one child, to care for the elders in the absence of formal pension, health insurance or social security plans.”

Some families are already bracing for it. Mumbai couple, Rajeev Kumar Singh and Pallavi, were both sure they wanted only one child. “We wanted to provide her with the best we could, with none of the compromises we had to make with our siblings,” Pallavi says. Their daughter, Vidita, is nine. “Our aim is to be financially self-sufficient so we’re not a burden on the child we raised to be free to do what she likes.”

Desai finds that there’s pressure, nonetheless. “There is an increasing sense that this is a precious child in whom all of their parents’ hopes are vested. That is a kind of burden too.”

A NEW WAVE

For India, the single child preference might trickle down as lower-income families consider it a better shot at economic success. It might change family dynamics too. Desai says that Indian families, “which typically cared for children well into their 60s”, might find they have more time to themselves, and might need new outlets for their energy. Social inequalities within the same class might worsen between privileged only-children and those from larger families.

Perhaps the bigger transformation might be how families operate. Dharini and Kunal Turakhia are careful to ensure that their only son, Dev, 11, spends time with his cousins, benefiting from the company while still having his parents all to himself. They also fill the “parent-as friend” role more strongly, given the absence of siblings.

Is the single-child a guarantee of domestic bliss? Of course not. “We know from experience that family size is not and cannot be a determinant of happiness,” says Muttreja of PFI. “The decision to have a child should be based on informed choices. For us, it is a woman’s reproductive right to decide if, how many, and when she wants to have children.”