Editor’s note: This story is part of Peak, The Athletic’s desk covering leadership, personal development and success through the lens of sports. Follow Peak here.

Kansas quarterback Jalon Daniels arrived in Texas this July with a unique distinction: It was his fourth time representing his school at Big 12 media day. It’s not exactly Archie Griffin’s two Heismans, but the Kansas star figures in the NIL and transfer portal era, no one will duplicate his feat.

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“I tried to tell Commish (Brett Yormark), ‘You might as well go ahead and put a banner: JD up here four years in a row, baby!’” Daniels said, laughing.

It was the type of levity and self-awareness that comes from a player who has experienced just about everything a quarterback can have thrown at him.

Two years ago, Daniels wore a silver suit with a red tie and an Apple Watch pendant around his neck that displayed his 2022 highlights on a loop. As remarkable as some of the footage was, or as glitzy as the jewelry looked, the most impressive thing was his words. He told a story back then that wasn’t just about how he’d arrived at this moment. He also gave one of the best lessons in parenting I’ve ever heard.

I’ve been a sportswriter twice as long as I’ve been a parent. I’ve coached my son in football for the last five years. Youth sports can be amazing. It can also be mind-numbing, frustrating and baffling, especially if your kid loves it even more than you do.

It’s human nature for kids to compare themselves to others their age. Their parents often are guilty of doing it too (I am guilty of this). Every practice can feel like a defining moment (guilty of this, too). Only it isn’t.

But the more I learned about Daniels, the more insightful and applicable his story became to me — and hopefully will be for other parents and young athletes as well.

Daniels’ career is a testament to playing the long game, something that gets increasingly harder to do in this era of instant gratification and online rankings. Here are my four favorite lessons I learned from his story.

Lean on your support system early

Daniels was part of one of the most stacked quarterback recruiting classes to come out of one area in recent memory.

He graduated in 2020 from Lawndale High in Southern California, not far from where the country’s top two overall recruits, Bryce Young and D.J. Uiagalelei, also played. Fellow five-star QB C.J. Stroud was from the area. Daniels was ranked behind 22 other quarterbacks in the state of California alone and didn’t even have a recruiting profile, much less any stars, until just before his senior season.

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How exactly did a young Jalon stay grounded and not get discouraged?

“Honestly, I did have that perspective even back then,” he said. “My freshman year humbled me for real. Going into freshman year, I did think I was the best. That humbled me so much because then I saw D.J., balling (as a) freshman. I’m barely playing as a freshman. He got offers; I don’t. Bryce Young’s ballin’ on varsity as a freshman. He got offers; I don’t. What am I doing wrong? I’m not in the same situation.”

Daniels credits his mom, Star, for instilling in him a drive and determination to stay on the path.

“I can’t even imagine how it is for a parent seeing your child doing as much as they can, as much as they are willing to do to try and get to where they’re going, and things aren’t happening,” he said. “I just have to give props to my mom and stepdad for being able to keep me grounded. Now that I’m looking back on it, it’s so easy to get hard on yourself about stuff like that.”

Find the positive in your situation

The low point for Jalon and Star came during his sophomore year of high school. His coach told him, depending on how this practice goes, that he’d either get to move up to the junior varsity team or stay on the freshman squad for another year.

A few hours later, Daniels got back into his mom’s car and slunk into the seat.

“He is making me do freshman (football) again,” he told his mom.

Star’s heart broke for her son. “You could tell that he wanted to cry,” she said.

She wasn’t about to start the 20-minute drive home until his perspective changed.

“When Jalon is in his head about something, we stop and we deal with it right then and there,” she said. “When he’s having those moments, I need Jalon to see my face. I need him to see where I am because if I am passionate about what it is that you want, I need you not to lose that passion.”

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She made sure he understood the situation as she saw it. He was still small and hadn’t yet hit his growth spurt. Those kids on JV were big. Maybe the coaches didn’t think he was physically ready to move up. Also, she told him, perhaps the coaches thought he would be able to motivate the new kids who might be scared coming onto the freshman team, since Jalon was a good leader.

“You know what it’s like to play in these Thursday games,” she said. “Use that to your advantage!”

After 15 minutes, Star felt Jalon had received the message, and she was ready to pull out of that parking lot.

“By then, all that negativity and doubt was gone,” she said. “By the time we got home, he was putting his plan into action, thinking about what he can do.”

At the end of that season, Daniels not only moved up to JV but was one of a handful of sophomores who joined the varsity team at Narbonne High when it played for the state title. He even got into the game for a snap.

Star told him, “Do you see what patience and perseverance can get you?”

Jalon Daniels and his mom, Star. Photo courtesy of the Daniels family

Comparison is the thief of joy

As a sophomore, Daniels was the third-string quarterback behind two talented athletes: Jaylen Henderson, who is now at West Virginia, and Kyle Williams, who now plays for the New England Patriots.

It wasn’t just his parents’ support that helped drive him. Daniels’ teammates also saw how well he played when he got the chance to start on the junior varsity team. Just keep doing what you’re doing, they encouraged. You’re gonna be OK, they kept telling him.

“I’m like, ‘All right, bet! Keep playing,’” Daniels said. “I made a whole lot of highlights with some guys … and then Jake Garcia transferred in.”

Garcia, now at Michigan after going from Miami (Fla.) to Missouri to East Carolina, was another Southern California five-star QB at the time. Daniels decided to bet on himself and transferred to Lawndale for his junior year.

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“If you’re good enough to play at that next level, somebody’s going to find you and you’ll be able to put your talents at that next level,” Daniel said. “So it was no longer just about trying to compare myself to Bryce, D.J. or C.J. because at the end of the day, comparison is a thief of joy.”

The internet is also a thief of joy, as Daniel was reminded of before his junior season.

“I type in J-A-L-O-N Daniels in Google,” Daniels remembered, “and Jayden Daniels (another blue-chip QB from Southern California who was a year ahead) came up, and I thought, ‘Well, I will be able to fill up this page one day.’”

‘You never lose. You either win or you learn’

Daniels received only a few offers from mid-major programs and committed to Middle Tennessee the week before his senior season. It wasn’t until the very end of that season that he finally received that one elusive Power 4 offer. Daniels bet on himself again and flipped to the Kansas Jayhawks.

Daniels started six games as a 17-year-old freshman in 2020 under coach Les Miles. The following offseason, Miles was fired and replaced by Lance Leipold, who took over a dreadful program that hadn’t won more than three games in a season in a dozen years.

The Jayhawks started 1-8 in 2021, but then Daniels led them to a stunning 57-56 upset of Texas, snapping the program’s 56-game road losing streak. He threw four touchdowns and no picks.

In 2022, Daniels sparked Kansas to its first bowl game in 14 years and was a second-team Academic All-American. The 2023 season, though, brought more mental challenges. He played in only three games because of a back injury. In 2024, Daniels was healthy, but he and the offense struggled. Daniels threw 14 touchdowns and 12 interceptions. The team lost five of its six games decided by six points or less.

It led to some honest conversations with Leipold.

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“He was right,” Daniels said. “Early on, I was pressing. I was trying to make up for lost time. I was trying to do as much as I can to be able to get the guys around me to the NFL instead of focusing on winning the game right now.”

Leipold said Daniels is the same person he was four years ago when Leipold first arrived in Lawrence.

“He’s as positive a teammate as you could ask for,” Leipold said. “He’s just one hell of a kid. He’s humble. He’s hardworking. He doesn’t make excuses. He walks around with the same smile on his face. And he’s never once made an excuse or deflected anything that hasn’t gone his way.”

Again, Daniels credits his mom for that mentality.

“Most of life is a mental game,” he said. “When you lose, it hurts you mentally more than anything else, but one thing my mom told me is, ‘Son, you never lose. You either win or learn.’ ”

When I asked what advice he’d give his younger self or any other kid, Daniels started to answer before I finished the question.

“I’m telling my 13-year-old self to stay the course,” he said. “Stay patient. Everything’s going to happen the way it’s supposed to. Make sure you believe in God because there’s going to be tests.

“There’s going to be trials and tribulations that try to knock you off your pivot and try to make you feel less confident than you already are. Stay confident because you’re in that situation for a reason.”

(Illustration: Dan Goldfarb / The Athletic; James Black/Icon Sportswire / Getty Images)