ReRouted’s Gary Dumas speaks about addressing mental health challenges that men face Share Copy Link Copy

MONTH. IT’S A TIME TO RAISE AWARENESS ABOUT THE MENTAL HEALTH CHALLENGES THAT MEN FACE SPECIFICALLY. AND JOINING US IN STUDIO IS A MAN WHO SPECIALIZES IN HELPING MEN WITH THEIR MENTAL HEALTH ALL YEAR ROUND, NOT JUST ONE MONTH OF THE YEAR. THIS IS A YEAR ROUND PROBLEM. GARY DUMAS IS THE FOUNDER OF REROOTED. IT’S A LOCAL NONPROFIT THAT HELPS MEN. YOU ALSO HELP WOMEN AND COUPLES, BUT REALLY YOU FOCUS ON MEN IN PARTICULARLY. AND TELL US A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOUR PROGRAM AND HOW YOU HELP MEN DEAL WITH THEIR MENTAL HEALTH. AND EVEN TALKING ABOUT IT. ABSOLUTELY. FIRST OF ALL, THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME. AND I’VE BEEN A SERVICE PROVIDER NOW FOR PROBABLY OVER TWO AND A HALF DECADES, SERVING MEN IN AREAS OF MEN’S DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, ANGER MANAGEMENT, AS WELL AS ANGER CONTROL. I CALL IT EMOTIONAL FITNESS. ONE OF THE REASONS WHY IS BECAUSE WHEN I GET REFERRALS, A LOT OF MEN WOULD REFUTE OR DENY THAT THEY HAVE ISSUES WITH EMOTIONAL DYSREGULATION. SO I COME FROM A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE BECAUSE TO GET SOMEONE TO ADMIT TO HAVING A PROBLEM WITH ANGER IS A LOT LESS LIKELY. BUT WHEN YOU PRESENT IT FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF EMOTIONAL FITNESS, THEN THEY’RE MORE LIKELY TO ENGAGE. YOUR EMOTIONS ARE JUST A LITTLE OUT OF SHAPE. WE NEED TO GET THOSE EMOTIONS IN CHECK A LITTLE BIT. EVERYTHING STARTS WITH A C, A LITTLE, A LITTLE EXERCISE, RIGHT? THAT’S RIGHT. A LITTLE EXERCISE. SO YOU YOU OFFER CLASSES FOR, FOR MEN ON EMOTIONAL FITNESS AND HELPING WITH THEIR MENTAL HEALTH AND KIND OF OVERCOMING THE STIGMA THAT THERE IS. AND THIS IS SPECIFICALLY FOR MEN, BECAUSE WOMEN DON’T SEEM TO NECESSARILY HAVE THIS PROBLEM. WE TEND TO TALK ABOUT THINGS, BUT MEN DON’T SEEM TO TALK ABOUT THINGS AS MUCH. CORRECT? YES, THAT IS CORRECT. AND THERE’S A COUPLE OF REASONS WHY. ONE IS WELL, ACTUALLY THREE REASONS TO BE SPECIFIC BUT YET BRIEF. ONE IS MALADAPTIVE BEHAVIOR. MALADAPTIVE IS THE OPPOSITE OF ADAPTIVE IS WHEN A PERSON IS IN A SITUATION THAT’S PRETTY ADVERSE AND THEY GO AND DO SOMETHING TO MAKE A BAD SITUATION WORSE. WELL, AND CAN I STOP YOU RIGHT THERE? WE WERE BOTH MOURNING THE TOP STORY THAT WE HAD, WHERE IT STARTED WITH A DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SITUATION, AND THAT LED TO A CHASE. AND THEN THAT LED TO AN INNOCENT PERSON BEING KILLED. AND YOU HAVE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CLASSES FOR MEN. MEN WHO HAVE, YOU KNOW, BEEN VIOLENT WITH WOMEN, BEEN VIOLENT WITH WOMEN IS ONE OF THE THINGS I ALSO TELL MEN IN REGARDS TO THE MINDSET OF JUDGES. A LOT OF TIMES THE MEN FEEL LIKE, YOU KNOW WHAT, THIS THIS PUNISHMENT WAS TOO HARSH, OR THEY’RE MAKING ME GO TO THESE CLASSES UNTIL THEY ACTUALLY TAKE THE CLASSES AND THEY REALIZE AND I TELL ME AND ALL THE TIME THAT A LOT OF TIMES JUDGES WILL HAVE MEN STILL TAKE THE CLASSES, NOT ALWAYS FOR WHAT THEY’VE DONE, BUT WHAT THEY WILL LIKELY DO. AND SO IT’S ALSO A PREVENTATIVE MEASURE. WE PREFER PREVENTION OVER INTERVENTION ANYTIME, BUT IN CASE THINGS HAPPEN, WE’RE THERE TO SUPPORT. WELL, AND LIKE THE SITUATION THAT HAPPENED TONIGHT, YOU FEEL LIKE THAT’S SOMETHING THAT IT COULD HAVE BEEN PREVENTED HAD THAT PERSON GOTTEN INTO A DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CLASS. LIKE AT NO QUESTION, NO QUESTION ABOUT IT. THE THE PERCENTAGE WOULD BE A LOT HIGHER HAD THAT GENTLEMAN. BECAUSE WE DON’T KNOW. WE DON’T HAVE ANY EVIDENCE TO SUPPORT THAT. I HAVEN’T HAD ANY CONVERSATION WITH THE GENTLEMAN, BUT VERY LIKELY HAD HE BEEN INVOLVED IN A SITUATION WHERE THERE’S DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CONTENT IN AN ENVIRONMENT WHERE HE FELT COMFORTABLE, WHERE WE TOUCHED ON AREAS AS RELEVANT TO HIS CONCERNS, THEN DEFINITELY THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN A LOT LESS LIKELY THAN THE INCOME QUESTION, HOW CAN WE HELP THE MEN IN OUR LIVES? AND I’M SPEAKING AS A WOMAN, BUT HOW CAN HOW CAN ALL OF US HELP THE MEN IN OUR LIVES WITH WITH MENTAL HEALTH AND TALKING ABOUT IT AND OPENING UP CONVERSATIONS? WELL, WITHOUT MAKING EVERYTHING TOO CLINICAL, THAT’S THE FIRST PLACE TO START. IT’S JUST, FIRST OF ALL, WANT TO HELP. BECAUSE MOST MEN, WHEN I TALK ABOUT COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS IN THEIR MIND, THEY BELIEVE MOST OF THEM ANYWAY, THAT NOBODY WANTS TO HELP, THAT NOBODY REALLY CARES, THAT ANY EVENT THAT THEY DO OPEN UP IS ONLY GOING TO EITHER WORK AGAINST THEM, BACKFIRE, OR SOMETHING TO THOSE LINES. SO JUST HELPING A MAN TO REALIZE THAT YOU KNOW WHAT? TRUST IS BIG WITH MEN. TRUST MORE THAN ANYTHING, IS THE BIGGEST THING WHEN IT COMES TO MEN. MEN HAVE TO BE ABLE TO TRUST YOU. ONE OF THE WAYS THAT TRUST IS ESTABLISHED IS BY BEING TRANSPARENT AND BEING OKAY, BEING VULNERABLE. FOR MYSELF, I’M COMFORTABLE. I WANT MEN TO KNOW THEY’RE IN A SAFE ENVIRONMENT. MEN AND I SAY THIS ALL THE TIME. WOMEN ARE MORE LIKELY TO KIND OF GO ALONG WITH YOU A LITTLE BIT FOR A WHILE. BUT MEN, THEY WON’T UNLESS THEY TRUST YOU. THEY’LL WATCH YOU FOR A WHILE. AND THEN WHEN THEY TRUST YOU, THEY’LL START OPENING UP. GARY, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE MEN THAT YOU HELP AND WOMEN, AND WE APPRECIATE YOUR TIME SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT. WE’LL HAVE YOU BACK ON KCRA 3 YOU AND YOUR WIFE, BECAUSE THEY DO HELP COUPLES AND WOMEN. YOU CAN CHECK OUT THEIR WEBSITE, REROUTED YOU.ORG FOR MORE INFORMATION. WE’LL ALSO LINK ALL OF THIS TO KCRA.COM. AND THIS IS A NONPROFIT. THEY DO OFFER THESE CLASSES FOR FREE. BUT THEY NEEDED YOU KNOW WE HAVE TO RAISE MONEY FOR THAT. AND REROUTED HELD A FUNDRAISER EARLIER TODAY FOR THEIR PROGRAM. IT WAS A PICKLEBALL TOURNAMENT AND IT WAS THE PERFECT DAY FOR PICKLEBALL AT CONSUMES RIVER COLLEGE IN SACRAMENTO. AND MY MOM AND I, THAT’S NOT US PLAYING, BUT WE DID PLAY IN IT TODAY. IT WAS JUST PERFECT WEATHER FOR THAT TO RAISE MONEY FOR REROUTED AND