Why We Chose Commitment Over Marriage: Our Journey Together Without the Paperwork

Our Relationship Beginnings

I met Eric over six years ago on Bumble, shortly after moving from the Midwest to Salt Lake City. Initially, both of us were exploring other relationships, and it took about a year for us to become exclusive. Despite our age gap, with Eric being 13 years older, we formed a strong connection. When he proposed a few months into dating, I was taken aback. He had previously experienced a challenging divorce, both emotionally and financially, and had sworn off the idea of marriage. Yet, with me, he was willing to take that risk. Honored, I accepted his proposal.

Choosing to Stay Unmarried

A few years into our engagement, we chose a different path, ending the engagement but remaining together. We both respect the institution of marriage, but we recognized it wasn’t the right choice for us. The potential for a divorce, especially given our independent careers, was a risk we weren’t keen to take. We’ve learned to ignore jokes and questions from others because we’re content with our decision to stay together sans marriage.

Our Professional Lives Matter

We’re proud of our individual careers. Studying our professional landscape, we made the call to keep our finances separate, ensuring that what we’ve built independently remains secure.

• Business Priorities: With my passion for entrepreneurship, I own three companies, including a PR firm that I founded. Eric is a financial speaker and instructor, traveling globally.
• Concerns About Divorce: Seeing the financial and emotional toll of divorces on close friends fortified our decision. Both of us being self-employed meant that marriage didn’t present significant financial advantages, and the risk of a messy divorce was not worth it.

A Non-Traditional Approach to Love

Eric and I often jest about emulating the relationship of Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, who have been blissfully together for 40 years without a marriage certificate. Their choice to avoid a potentially ugly divorce resonates with us. Our relationship is built on mutual respect and cherished time together, not paperwork.

Finding the Right Labels

Navigating social introductions can be tricky. Terms like “fiancé” or “girlfriend” never felt quite right. As an active figure in Eric’s sons’ lives, especially serving as a stepmother, I’m perceived as more than a “girlfriend.” Yet, we understand that labels are just words; what matters is the commitment we have toward each other.

Why Our Relationship Works

For us, the strength of our bond is not defined by traditional marital conventions. Instead, it is built on a choice we make every day—to be with each other because we genuinely want to, rather than due to societal expectations or legal obligations. This unconventional setup works beautifully for us, reinforcing our belief that a piece of paper doesn’t define or determine the strength of a relationship.

Source: https://www.businessinsider.com/why-we-ended-engagement-stayed-together-divorce-marriage-2024-10